yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
