It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The uberlube is also flammable
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
