My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
