I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
