I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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