my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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