4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dear god my vagina.
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