I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
