Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
