You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
