i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
