shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
