That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
