yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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