Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
