it hurts more in the daytime
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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