Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
