I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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