just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
