saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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