Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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