I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
