oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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