:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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