I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
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