Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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