Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You smell like stripper and shame
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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