Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
