honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
