can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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