I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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