It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
