Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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