Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
