Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
