our cab driver is having phone sex.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
this will be a night to untag.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
