I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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