guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
