What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
