They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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