Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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