So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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