but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's always time for handjobs
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
