Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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