i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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