You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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