How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
