Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
