handjob tips. give me some.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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