The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
